A Few Things I’ve Learned In 50 Years
One of the MAIN things I’ve learned is to assume nothing!
When I was 30, I thought that people in their 50’s were “old,” “outdated,” and “over the hill.
Man, oh man, was I wrong!
Here’s a little side story: I recall a stunning spring morning in 1999 when I lived in NYC. I was 29 years old. I was running around the Central Park reservoir through beds of fallen cherry blossoms. It was stunning, and I’ll never forget it. I felt excited, motivated, and determined to have a thriving acting career. I promised myself that it would happen BEFORE the age of 35. I worked on the stage, soaps, commercials, and in low-budget films. My goal was to move to LA and, by the age of 40, be a successful WORKING actress. It had to happen by then! In Hollywood, forty is considered OLD. If you aren’t established, especially as a female actor, it will NEVER “happen”—time to pack up and head home, girlfriend.
Needless to say, after I was 35, my agents, coaches, and other actresses told me to lie about my age. Never being young enough, pretty enough, or thin enough was a sad reality that I (and many other young ladies) lived with daily. How f***** up is that?
So I did.
I became accustomed to hiding my actual age. I didn’t value my experiences and wisdom. I often felt that I was living out of integrity and felt “less than” because of a number.
I even believed a New York business coach that my last name (Pister) would get me laughed out of audition rooms in LA.
…So I changed it.
At this point in my life, I know what I want. I know who I’m becoming and how I want my life to FEEL. I’m in constant evolution and changing every day! I take radical responsibility for my life and what I want it to become.
I know I am supported and guided by something so much bigger than me, and all I have to do is get out of my way. Most importantly, I accept and understand that I AM ENOUGH when, as a culture, we are taught that we are NOT. That’s another blog. 😉
Looking back over the past years, I see now that my life is more of a biography in process. I am the co-author in collaboration with the divine. I am writing, editing, and refining it every day, whether I choose to see it or not.
As a work in progress and having “perfected” nothing, I commit to deepening the lessons I continually learn.
Here are a FEW:
• My years of experience, lessons learned, failures, successes, loss and grief, disappointments, buried dreams, friendships made, and friendships ended have been my proper education in this lifetime.
• My reality is not someone else’s reality, nor is THE reality.
• My inner voice (higher self) is my BEST guide and the ONLY one I need to listen to always.
• My emotions are bat signals telling my brain what FEELS good or not in my life. I need to listen to my emotions more than my brain.
• Self-Care is NOT selfish; it’s vital.
• Being competitive, overworking, and being hard on myself is about feeling the need to prove myself and needing outside validation. I’ve learned that I am worthy and enough, and being “competitive” is about engaging my edge and being MY best for ME.
• Not everyone will like, agree with, or support me, and I need to be okay with it. It’s not my job to please other people.
• To fully love and be present for others starts with loving and being fully present for myself FIRST.
• I’ve made choices that I celebrate, and some I might’ve done differently. In hindsight, these choices have informed present and future decisions.
• I’ve wasted time in the past and am learning how to prioritize what’s most important and ditch the rest
• My own resiliency. I’ve fallen apart and have been able to pull myself back together(many times).
• The importance of experimenting and not being afraid to fail is GOOD!
• That I don’t have to listen to the BRULES (the bullshit rules we learn from our culture, parents, peers, and what others expect of us). I follow my own heart and do what FEELS right for me.
• The power of the group is stronger than the power of one. I’ve stopped trying to do it all on my own.
• It’s okay to ask for help. I’m happy to help others.
• The importance of acknowledging and honoring my teachers/mentors/guides and those who have helped me along my path. It’s not JUST me.
• That I am not separate or unique, in that what I am going through and experiencing in the landscape of my life is often more similar to, than different from, others.
• I am not my thoughts; I am only the witness to them….and most of them are not true anyway.
• To be a good teacher, you must be a great student.
• The importance of ALWAYS be learning (ABL) and having a beginner’s mind.
• Disconnecting from nature is disconnecting from myself.
• To listen more, speak less.
• Being “RIGHT” is not essential. More important is the relationship with the person I’m disputing. Forcing my opinion may damage our future relationship. Again, it’s ONLY my opinion.
• To change is to evolve; staying the same is to devolve.
• Most likely, what I don’t “like” in others reflects what I don’t like in myself – and I need to go black-belt on it.
• I’ve learned that money is an exchange of energy, and the energy I have to exchange in the world has high value, and I’m worthy of it.
• I’ve learned that I am the curator of my own life. Where I am right now is a direct result of all the choices I’ve made in my life …PERIOD!
• I’ve learned that I am an expression of love (pssst…so are you), and the more I can share it, the more that comes back to me.
If you have any great lessons learned throughout your 40s, 50s, and beyond, please email me.
If you’re on an evolutionary growth path and are witnessing your life lessons as indicators for the next phase of your life, I want to hear them.
Your lessons are universal, and others can relate.
At this point, I’ve learned a lot and continue to do so daily. My Dad taught me at a young age to see life as the “earth school”—and it’s 100% true.
I’ve sought out and attracted amazing teachers, mentors, spirit guides, and communities with whom I learn and evolve daily.
I’m looking forward to this next phase in my life. And it is the next phase because I see it that way.
All that I’ve done in my life to this point has led me to where I am now. I have stories to tell because I’ve lived them, processed them, and learned from them. I will then use them to inform, curate, and guide the next chapter in my life.
As life unfolds daily, there are many mysteries, and so much is out of my control. Yet, there is SO MUCH that is in my control.
That’s what inspires me to keep shooting higher, to listen to and trust my inner voice, and to strive to live in integrity with myself every day.
When I do that for me, others benefit. It’s simply how it works.
HUGS,
Paula
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