Silent Night, Holy Night...all is Calm, all is Bright...
I don't know about you, but "calm" and "bright" aren't exactly two words that I'd choose to describe the past few years.
In my annual coaching program, these are two states of being that ALL my members want to experience on a daily basis...even in the midst of chaos, uncertainty, and fear. I get it... obviously, we can't walk around EVERY day feeling blissed out and unaffected by what's going on around us, but we do have a CHOICE. We have a choice as to how we respond to that which we may not be able to change. We also have a huge choice in what we DO have control over and take action on it. We have SO much control over our inner state of being, our thoughts, our emotions (which are typically created by our thoughts), and where we choose to place our attention AND the intention behind it.
Daily meditation practice is KEY to observing your inner world, your thoughts, and the reality of those thoughts (btw. usually most of your thoughts aren't true anyway) which control your emotions. Your emotions dictate your outward actions, which then manifest in your outer world. Your outer world reflects our inner world. Funny how that works ha?
So learning this practice of meditation has some pretty big stakes, especially if we wish to change the reality of our lives.
Life is busy, unpredictable, and oftentimes feels like a roller coaster...or it just me? My daily morning meditation practice has given me time, space, and permission to slow down, observe my thoughts that are causing me turmoil, or suffering, calm my nervous system and adjust my perspective into alignment with HOW I WANT to feel and with what is TRUE.
• Do I really have to do ALL those things I think I have to do to be "successful", liked or feel worthy?
• Do I really have to let that person or situation take control of my thoughts and ruin my day?
• Do I really have to take on ALL the pressures that I place on myself to be happy?
• Do I really need all the "things" to live a fulfilled life?
• Do you ____________________________?
I challenge you to give it a whirl if this is a practice that you've only heard of but never tried, but maybe are curious as you’ve heard of the benefits. If you have a practice, I challenge you to increase your time or number of days that you carve out for meditation to literally turn down the volume on all the NOISE (inner and outer) that stops you from hearing your ❤️ deeper desires.
Here are just a few of the benefits that meditation can offer:
• Slows aging, increases libido, extends lifespan.
• Relieves pain, aids faster healing, extinguishes inflammation.
• Helps in managing stress, depression, and anxiety.
• Benefits sleep, deep relaxation, decreases muscle tension.
• Supports heart, nervous system, immune system, endocrine system health, and MORE.
• Helps with PMS, fertility & pregnancy.
• Helps beat addiction, promotes emotional health & enhances self-awareness…and more.
So you might be thinking…
”Ok Paula, but I don’t have time to meditate…I hit the ground running from the moment I open my eyes to the time my head hits the pillow”.
Here’s my question…have you actually made it a priority? Are you clear as a crystal on WHY you want to meditate? I can give you a list of very successful people who are busier than you and me that finding time to meditate every single day because they are committed to the results of their practice. Just to name a few…Oprah Winfrey (busier than you and I put together I’m guessing), Arianna Huffington of the Huff. Post, Madonna (empire Madonna), Tony Robbins (works, travels, and motivates people all over the world, best selling author, husband, and father….). The list goes on. They have made meditation a priority period! What are you prioritizing instead- Netflix, social media, CNN…just saying? 😉
Perhaps this sounds familiar, “You know I tried it, it didn't work for me and so I stopped”. Just like any other muscle in your body, your brain is a muscle that needs to be controlled and built. Thank goodness there are workarounds to help you calm your mind and drop into your breath (meditation 101) Here are a few to consider - the time of day, the length of time, the location, the method. Maybe it’s time to try something different and give it another shot. I promise it works…for whatever you WANT it to work for.
“I can’t stop thinking” may be your excuse. Just assume that is normal. It is the mind’s job to fluctuate, to jump around, and to keep you distracted. It’s just what it does. Your job to create more calm, spiritual connection, and ease is to notice your thoughts (which are usually about the past, the future and the make beliefs) and then redirect your attention to the present moment, which is your breath.
Pay attention to your breath which ONLY exists in the present moment. So actually the practice is the NOTICING & COMING BACK TO- that’s it.
Tips for Sitting in Silence:
• If you resist meditation, start with a one-minute deep breathing practice.
• If you want to begin meditating, start with one minute. Bring 100% of your awareness to a one-minute practice. Try one minute before sleep and one minute during your morning routine.
• Sit in the same place at the same time each day. Very early morning is the best time for most people. Bring in ritual.
• Use an audio recording, if desired, for instruction. ( headspace, glo.com, calm, insight timer, the breathing app).
• Set the timer on your phone.
• When the timer goes off, stop—even if you want to keep going. Potent, regular practice is better than sporadic, longer practice.
• Gradually increase the length of practice. Don’t set yourself up for failure by making your sit time too long. Work your way up, first to five minutes, then gradually to ten. Increase by five-minute increments until you’re happy with your results. While thirty minutes twice a day works great for many serious meditators, remember the practice needs to work for you right now in your life. Use kaizen to make meditation an effortless daily routine, building your meditation muscle consistently.
• If you used to meditate and you’ve strayed, try restarting with five, ten, or fifteen minutes— whichever you can commit to daily during this phase of your life.
Here are a few common “styles” of meditation:
• MINDFULNESS MEDITATION- Mindfulness is a form of meditation that urges you to just be in the moment, notice your thoughts and return to your breath, over and over and over.
• LOVING KINDNESS MEDITATION- The loving-kindness meditation goal is to cultivate a feeling of love and kindness towards everyone, EVEN a person’s enemies or greatest stressors.
• BODY SCAN or PROGRESSIVE RELAXATION- This meditation encourages you to scan your body for any areas of tension. The goal is to simply notice where you’re holding or blocking energy and send your breath, visualizing the tension releases.
• BREATH AWARENESS MEDITATION- Breath awareness is a type of mindful meditation that encourages mindful breathing.
When this practice becomes a part of who we are and what we do, the benefits we experience are endless, I love what the meditation teacher Craig Hamilton said when asked what meditation has taught him, says: “I’ve learned to free-fall backward, unknowing and without fear, through my day-to-day life.”
Now, pick the best time where you know you will be undisturbed. This may mean making an effort to carve out time in your busy schedule or get up earlier, put the kids to bed earlier and ask the people you live with to support you, or all of the above. Set up a quiet, comfortable space. Commit to your chosen time, get clear on WHY you want it and give it a whirl over and over and over again. Start small and build…watch the muscle grow.
Check out my other article on MEDITATION for more HOW TO’S.